The vow of a Nazirite.

One Thing Conference '08 at IHOP-KC (Dec 28-31). This has been my third trip out to ihop, and I'm not exaggerating when I say that every time I go out there God changes me so much that I come back a different person. I first went to ihop when I was fifteen. I'm seventeen now. It's always rough coming home from there. Very few members of my friends and family understand how or even believe that God can work in and change me so quickly. But, It's like every time I go there God hits me with this massive wake-up call. I'm flooded with revelation and understanding. I have a new sense of how deep calls unto deep, and I'm taken to new levels of surrender and submission in my life that I didn't even know were possible. I encounter God and have all these awesome experiences and then have to come back to a place that feels so dry and complacent. And I really don't even want to come around anymore. My soul has tasted of the deeper waters and nothing less will satisfy. There's a holy dissatisfaction burning inside of me. It's burning. I have this hunger for the deeper things of God, but know so little about them.
It's an impossibly difficult place to be.
I'm so hungry and at the same time I want to share with everyone the things I've experienced, but I wouldn't even know how to. Because I hardly even know what I experienced. I feel if I do try to explain what I'm feeling to people, I either can't express my self accurately, or they just aren't interested.
I'm hoping I'm just underestimating them. I'm just going off of my previous experiences, though.

I feel that there will never be a language that could properly express what's going of inside of my heart.

Anyways, my point. I think I had one. What God showed me.
Well, I've been saved for two years now, and at this conference God showed me that I don't even know who Jesus is. I've heard all about him, but don't even know him for myself. I was completely lacking intimacy with him him that only comes from spending time in the secret place. Leading to The Nazarite vow.

In Numbers 6, it talks about The Nazarite vow. What it is basically, is a special vow to seperate yourself to The Lord. Mike Bickle, the great man who heads up ihop, said at the conference that The Lord told him there would be a thousand people there who would take this special vow of consecration and stick to it. He also called it being a forerunner to this coming generation. A forerunner has a prophetic ministry that prepares people, who will prepare the way of The Lord for His second coming. Now there was about fifteen thousand people at this conference. Mike Bickle was mentioning this Nazarite vow every day, and each time he did, I felt God pulling on my heart. I knew it was for me. At the last session of the last day of the conference, Mike went through The seven commitments of a forerunner, they are as follows:

1. Pray and eat the scroll two hours everyday.
2. Fast twice a week.
3.Speak Boldy
(standing as a faithful witness)
4.Do Justly
(works of justice focused on the fatherless and the oppressed)
5.Give extravagantly
( 2x or more beyond the tithe)
6.Live Holy
(walk out the sermon on the mount and keep the purity covenant, matt.5-7, rev 2-3,
confess it when we stumble)
7.Lead Diligently
(lead weekly prayer meetings and bible studies focused on training forerunners)

I liked the way Misty Edwards phrased it when she said she made this commitment ten years ago. She said that she vowed to "give God ten years without even coming up for air."
What she meant was she was going to live out this commitment every single day whether she felt as though she seen results or not. She wasn't even going to evaluate anything for ten years. And if you don't know who Misty is, then let me just say she is an example of a fully surrendered life. I honor and respect her very deeply. She has a commitment to The Lord like I have never seen.

So after the thousand were called to the front and prayed this commitment to God, we all just sort of wept at the weight of the commitment we'd just made. It was beautiful and truly the scariest thing I've ever done. I've been walking it out about a week and a half now, and am so grateful God called me to do this.

I've got ten years before I come up for air.

This has definitely been my most impactful trip to ihop. I really needed this. By making this commitment it forces me to get in the secret place and find out who Jesus is for myself. To fall in love with him over and over and over again. This in a way has been the solution. I've had this hunger that I didn't know how to satisfy, and now I'm aware that I will only be satisfied in knowing him and being in his presence. My pursuit of satisfaction has begun.

God is revealing many things to me now. He's showing the importance of living for an audience of one. All I want is to please my Father. I want to live on the path of humility and meekness. I want to fall deeper in love with the shore less ocean that is Jesus.I want to sink deeper and deeper into his heart. I want to know what he is thinking and saying what he thinks of me. I want to hear his voice and know his call. I want to live like he did, as a servant to all. I want to know what loves is and what it looks like to truly walk it out. I want to do the will of my father.
I don't have time or space in my brain to care about what people think. I don't have any interest in the wine of this world. It doesn't satisfy. I want to completely die to myself and let God be what he is...ALL. God's revealing to me how this life is so short, but a breath of air. It's over in the blinking of an eye. His kingdom is what's eternal. I'm understanding what God meant when he said we have to humble ourselves to be exalted there. That we have to die to ourselves to truly live. The point of our existence is not only to "be in a relationship with God" , as I feel that doesn't portray it accurately. But, to LOVE him. We were created for love. God has so much love that he made us to pour it into, and we have the choice of receiving that love and returning it or not. And love is not love unless it's a choice, that's where free will comes in. I honestly feel with all my heart, the main, number one, most important reason we exist is love. I think God is going to ask us if we learned what love is. It was for love that Jesus gave himself over to be killed. We love him because he first loved us.

Let me talk about my blog title for a little bit. "Better then wine". Song Of Songs 1:2 says "Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine..."
The "kisses of his mouth part" is talking about the word of God that proceeds from God's mouth. The "your love is better than wine" isn't speaking of actual wine, but of the pleasures and of this world that people seek for satisfaction. So I titled this what I did because I choose his love over anything the world can offer me.

As for my name "Lily among brambles" refers to Song of Songs 2:2 "A lily among brambles, so is my love among the young women."
We have to accurately know what God thinks of us before we can have an accurate picture of who he is.

I challenge you to ponder these things. Re-read 1 Corinthians 13. Meditate on what love is. I pray that God will open your eyes and give you a new revelation of love. God's love is the only thing that sustains me. It's the only thing that ever could.

So to anyone who may have been wondering, this is what's been going on behind my face lately.

Well, I've been at this for a couple hours now and I'm pretty tired. I really hope I expressed myself properly.

To my friends, I need you.
To my family, I love you.
To my church, I cherish you.
To the stranger reading this, God Bless you.

http://www.ihop.org/Groups/1000037821/International_House_of/Ministries/Sacred_Charge/Sacred_Charge.aspx